Skip to main content

I Like My Girls BBW...No Actually...I Changed My Mind


At some point in our lives, we’ve all stood in front of a mirror and wondered, contemplated and speculated. We stare at the mirror and pinch away at the fat. We lift our butt to see if it needs to sit higher, we readjust our boobs to create some sorta cleavage cause the bigger the better. Whether your goal was to gain your abs by the summer or to gain a few pounds so you could have a little booty back there. In this day and age we all are trying to figure out how to obtain that "ideal body."

I mean, it’s not easy out here to be content, with all the body images we see as we scroll through Twitter & Instagram. It always seems that what is ideal is the opposite of what we currently possess.

I mean I cannot tell you how many images of Rihanna I have seen in the past month since she “gained a little extra.” (I myself, retweeted an image of her as well) But she’s been everywhere lately, for apparent reasons. She’s gotten thicker, everywhere. Now please understand majority of my following on twitter are black men, so it’s not too surprising. Let’s be honest, most black men have seemed to have a preference for a women with measurements equal to 36-25-40, smh.


But the stream of Rihanna images first started when DJ Khaled’s “Wild Thoughts” video premiered which featured Rihanna and Bryson Tiller. In the video there are scenes where, I’ll put this in the most conservative way possible, her chest is basically out of her shirt and people are “here for it.”


Since that moment in time her body image has become a hot topic.

Now Rihanna has always been an attractive women, since she debuted her first video in 2005. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen her get this much clout over her body, and it appears it only happened when she became more “shapely.” This type of attention makes it very apparent that nowadays the “ideal body” for most (black men) involve large breasts and a butt that’s easily visible in a maxi dress.



See BBW (beautiful big women) have been around for a very long time, Rihanna is not the first woman to weigh more than the BWI suggested at her height. I mean I've seen women with the same assets she has now, be ridiculed and become the image of some insensitive meme on the same social sites. And in my head I'm trying to figure out...wait why her & not Rihanna? 

Its like, society is constantly picking and choosing and consistently changing the "status quo." How are we to keep up?
I mean did a good weave and good applied makeup really separate Rihanna from every other woman whos built like her? I thought people liked what they liked regardless. 
Its like one day, the woman is accepted in all aspects of who she is, but by Tuesday of the following week its a totally different story.

Okay, so now lets take a look at the other end of the spectrum. Now I’ve always been a petite women, I’m talking the most I’ve ever weighed is a smooth 122 lbs (and that's only ever happened when I was at the gym 5 days a week and had absolutely no niggas stressing my life). So I have dealt with an entirely different kind of body image issue, which I can describe best as simply NOT BEING ENOUGH. Not enough titties, not enough ass.

From the time I was in middle school I've heard remarks like, "where's the rest of you", "why don't you have breasts yet", "do you eat ever?" Those comments still happen to this day, (not as often because I'm no longer around immature 15 year old boys and insecure young girls) but I am 26 years old and still struggle with body image issues. Most people assume, you're not fat, what issues could you possibly deal with? There are more than enough issues one can deal with, because insecurities are just that no matter what the cause. 

So I look at this whole Rihanna situation and my insecure side is like, dang...that's what folks prefer these days? It would take me 3 children, a slowed metabolism and a whole lotta pasta for me to ever reach that point. And let's be clear, this isn't the first time I've ever felt this way,  because scrolling through social media nearly everyday my insecurity of not feeling like there's enough of me creeps up. 

So lets take a look at things at this point, the BBW feels like she's not accepted, the petite girl feels like she's not accepted. Hmm, maybe that should prove something to us...
it does.

It makes something very, very clear to me, that I have not been able to notice before until this very moment.
It was not until this very moment, while sitting on my sectional couch on October 26th at 5:43pm with my head scarf on and sipping my orangeade from my wine glass that I realized............THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN IDEAL BODY EXCEPT FOR THE ONE THAT GOD GAVE EACH OF US.

Every woman and man (yes this is absolutely applied to my brothers as well) that has ever chased the "ideal body" because of what we have seen on the TV screens, or through our social media accounts, do not be confused. Do not let these streams of social media, dictate what you want for yourself. The "social-norm" in regards to body image....ISSA JOKE. It should not be considered when "living your best life."

I mean, no one knows what the actual ideal body is. We think we know what we like, until we get it then there's something else that we don't like about what we currently have, even though what we currently have is exactly what we thought we wanted when we didn't have what we wanted...am I right?

I say that to say, there is only one thing you should consider when it comes to YOUR OWN BODY, and that is being in a condition so that you can live a long, long life. That should be the goal, always. 

I don't care (and neither should you) if Rihanna starts to lose weight or gains another 12 lbs or if Nikki Minaj adds another butt on top of her over-sized, unproportioned (sorry Imma stop that's not nice) or anyone else for that matter, point is, it doesn't matter what is projected out here as ideal, you must know that who you are and what you have is more than enough and never too much. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

In Case You Were Like Me

For the ones who can say, "middle school sucked"...this is for you. August 23, 2008. I couldn't fall asleep last night. For what seemed like an endless night, I laid there wide-eyed with tears slowly creeping down my cheeks, as countless thoughts kept my mind in a panic.  "What is wrong with me?" "Why do they look at me that way?" "Am I gonna force myself to go back there tomorrow?" I have been bullied since the day I began middle school, and I can dissect everything a dirty look has to say in merely 3 seconds. I have isolated myself from any and everyone, I have perfected the ability to be alone in a room full of people. I can fake a fever and upset stomach so well, even I have unintentionally convinced myself that I'm sick on some days. And since they pointed their finger at me and laughed, I have been trying to convince myself that, things will get better. Trying to convince myself that if I can just ...

For The Love Of The Game

A student athlete is a participant in an organized competitive sport sponsored by the educational institution in which he or she is enrolled. Student athletes must typically balance the roles of being a part time athlete, part time student, part time lover and full time stressed.  One thing I know for sure after my conversation with Tris & Kris is that, while the student-athlete may be contributing to the success of their universities sports teams on the field (or court), this individual is also taking some major L's off the field. "Balancing was the hardest part about being a student-athlete" said Tris, who attended the University of North Carolina during the time that the 2014 academic football scandal took place, "I had to prove myself academically to people as an athlete because of that situation." Which meant lots of her time being occupied with her books and being involved in as many credible academic organizations that she could bare.  ...

The Word Faithful: Pertaining To Your Relationship

Is i‎t easy to be faithful in a relationship? And like a church choir we all respond in unison and answer “Yes” to this question. Based on my Twitter poll and Facebook post it’s apparent that most people do in fact believe that it is easy to stay faithful in a committed relationship. When you look at the definition of faithful it means, loyal and constant, adhering firmly to and devotedly as to a person, cause or idea. And of course most people assume that faithfulness is to be set and established between both individuals at the start of the relationship. Wow, devoted, constant, loyal. Those words carry a lot of weight and meaning. With faithfulness being defined as such have you ever thought that maybe faithfulness of that degree is something that is established over a long period of time rather than immediately in affect at the time you and your partner decide to make it “official”? Think about the things you are now devoted to? Can you honestly say you were immediately loyal an...